as an inward-looking prison focused on the child was also intended as a rebuke to pro-fertility politics in France. At first glance, Amy* is like many busy young momsshes 34, lives in Alberta, works full-time and is devoted to her five-year-old. June Cleaver has been replaced by Jessica Alba, the former actress who runs a billion-dollar organic baby goods empire and posts Instagram images of perfect airbrushed domesticity for her millions of followers.
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Simultaneously, the demanding, exhausting, self-sacrificing studying foreign language essay and often thankless work of motheringthe most important job a woman can have, as Ivanka Trump put it in a 2016 campaign videohas never been more restrictive, scrutinized and questioned. Yet almost all writing about motherhood focuses on accounts of mothers of babies and toddlers, Donath says. Her research even indicates that women who feel guilt over regret are more conscientious parents. German novelist Sarah Fischer, author. Traditionally, regret has been viewed as the purview of the childless. Thats why she set up her Facebook page, she says: Everyone was talking about how fantastic it was. Even fictional mothers expressing regret are controversial, OReilly notes, pointing to We Need to Talk About Kevin, Lionel Shrivers acclaimed 2003 novel told from the point of view of a mother whose son went on a murderous rampage. Parental regret also highlights gendered asymmetry around parenting; while fathers are increasingly active in child-raising, most child care and housework is still performed by women, as data from StatsCans 2015 General Social Survey indicates. Even saying you want time away from your kids is verboten, Byrne says. Silencing can allow systems to go unchecked, mothers ignored. In The Myth of Mothering Joy, Fischer, mother of a young daughter, paints an unsparing picture: The reality of motherhood is incontinence, boredom, weight gain, saggy breasts, depression, the end of romance, lack of sleep, dumbing down, career downturn, loss of sex drive, poverty, exhaustion. As they get older, problems become seriousanorexia, addiction.